Child Support

I was inspired but an excert from a novel, except this is more modern..

    A tear runs down her face as she watches her husband stuff a suitcase to its brim, as quietly as he can. He takes everything that is his, mostly his clothing, but anything else that wasn't shared between them. His movements are hastened, but as gentle as possible; he puts all his effort into not waking the sleeping child in the next room. She wipes the tear from her eyes, pulls as much composure as she can together, and walks up to her husband. She lays a hand on his arm, in a calm effort to halt his determination. He brushes it off, and with all his might, attempts to close the suitcase containing his belongings from the five year marraige. He keeps trying, in vain, and tears start forming in his eyes.

    Ever since Ethan was born, they both knew this moment was inevitable. Having this child just puts strain on their marraige, and for obvious reasons.

    "Liv, I just can't do it anymore." He wispers, tears now flowing down his cheeks. He sits gently on the bed, his suitcase next to him. "Every time I look at Ethan.... He... It disgusts me...." He says this looking down at his hands, avoiding her eye contact as much as possible. He doesn't want to see the heartbreak in her eyes.

    Liv also looks away, because the tears start returning to her too. How can she deny this mistake that is so plain to see?

     "Isaac, I'm so sorry...." She mumbles as she takes his hands in her own. "I know this is hard for you, and I know I screwed up big time. But can you think of Ethan? What will it be like for him, waking up without a father?"

     "He has a father. And its not me." He reverses the gesture, grasping her wrists in his large hands. He stands up, still confining her hands, so he can look down on the woman he used to love. He searches her eyes for a glimpse of gentle, caring, loving Olivia, but she is no where to be found. He only sees the unsatisfied, cheat of a woman that slept around on his last business trip. He contemplates each word, choosing them carefully, packing as much venom into each word as he can. "How do you expect me to love a child, when all I see in him are your mistakes?"

 

Author's Note

I know its not finished, but unfortunately I lost interest at the moment. Tell me what you think of it so far...
-If you do choose to review this, please try to leave something constructive. Thanks!

Reviews

[Jamie Raintree]

There is a lot of emotion here and you do a fantastic job of pulling it out in the reader. The way you reveal the information a little bit at a time kept me interested all the way through and the interaction between the characters is very realistic. I really enjoyed this piece, as short as it was. You said it wasn't finished but it felt like a complete story to me. Great work!

[Samuel Dickens]

Oh, Christine, you're nailing it. Due to my life experiences, I could see both sides of this and know that their problems could not easily be overcome. Also, I know that this scenario has played out many times. Yes, I'd like to see you continue this. Being a romantic old softee who longs for happy endings, I think it would be fantastic if you could let this couple overcome adversity and stay together. Or maybe not--it's your baby, of course.