Living with Fantasies.

My thoughts, written down.

I see you.

Looking at me.

With that affection in your eyes.

 

But what shows in my eyes,

when I look at you?

I'm not sure.

If its affection,

its twisted.

Because thats not exactly what my heart says.

 

My heart tells me no.

When it used to give in.

My heart has changed its mind.

 

I did have this thriving affection.

But that was once.

This is now.

 

Now, I don't see what I saw then.

I don't get what I was thinking.

Now, I am brought back into reality.

I think there was something there.

But now, I'm beginning to know it was in my head.

Made up.

My own fantasy, going exactly as planned.

 

See? Thats the problem...

When my fantasy plays out,

Its perfect.

When I try to live it,

I only see the flaws, the imperfections.

 

So its not you, and never has been.

I've changed....

 

And I don't know how to go back.

Author's Note

Like usual, its something that just needed to be let out. Sorry if its a little scattered, as that is how my mind works. The italicized words are meant to show emphasis. Constructive criticism please!