Mom

How can you, or all people, make me feel this depressed??

I see you every single day.

And have since I was born.

You brought me into this world.

 

Yet I feel so unimportant to you.

Like I am just this pest that you can't evade.

I keep coming back, because I'm drawn to you.

You seem to be sure an important figure in my life,

But sometimes I'm not so convinced.

 

How can I feel loved when,

            if I'm crying, all I get are scoldings?

            when I'm down, you don't even seem concerned?

It makes me feel worthless.

Like I did something wrong.

Which just makes me cry harder.

 

I'm exactly like you, Mom.

We are both so hard-headed.

We have a need for control.

And when we don't get what we want,

Its a fiasco.

 

Why can't you see that?

Because what you say to me sometimes,

It really hurts.

All I want is to be exceptional in your eyes.

But I crumble under your high expectations,

Your judgemental thoughts.

I just can't do it.

Its not possible.

 

How can I face you if all I see in your eyes is dissappointment?

Because thats all it seems like I am to you.

A big dissappointment.

Like I can't do anything right.

Like everything's my fault.

And thats the way you make it seem.

I can't take it.

Reviews

[f**k you]

Wow...again, it is very difficult to review pieces of work that are so extremely personal and don't hide that fact behind symbolism...this is so real, and paints a very clear picture without much poetic description, which makes it all the more powerful. Though it is difficult for me to relate, I definitely know why this situation is such torture for you. A person could have all the friends in the world, be surrounded by people who truly love them and accept them, but it means nothing when they cannot even be accepted and loved like they deserve to be, by the person who should mean the most, who brought them into the world. I'm sorry that you must go through that, because you so do not deserve that. You're a great person, kid, don't ever forget that.

-nicole-was-here-