Torn Reflections of Burnt Out Trash

Title inspired by a line on lyrics 'Roses in the Hospital'. All further content right from my twisted mind. :)

Sleeping candlelights
and opium-scent made in China
old incenses - bedrooms as hidden sects -
a personal bailey.
Restless pedestal elevating numb feelings
and porcelain attempts of carving
fearful perspectives -
wisdom cracks like thin ice.

Distorted guitar solos - here lies a naked song,
hear the fingerprints
Reaching out strings, so angry,
full of restricted meaning
Yet like a well-educated, bright
variation of compulsive wankering.

Destroy impetus and draw a perfect
yelling out of a crucifix
Create suffering - blood wasting -
Put it all on the washing-machine
And wear again your armour of pain
It smells like sweet nursery.

Take off all the vanity trash in shape of H&M's
Skin wrapping, self-controlled as diets -
natural velvet exquisite pigmented flash
Shaved heads, and smiles reflecting like
a torn, burnt out bouquet of
forever-silent dahlias.

Author's Note

Title inspired by a line on lyrics 'Roses in the Hospital'. All further content right from my twisted mind. :)
P.S.: Do you think I should set this as 'Mature''? Your opinion is very important. Thanks.

Reviews

[Alice In My Own Wonderl..]

"Distorted guitar solos - here lies a naked song,
hear the fingerprints
Reaching out strings, so angry,
full of restricted meaning
Yet like a well-educated, bright
variation of compulsive wankering."

This stanza was great. I found myself a little confused by this poem though. Probably because I have never heard of the song =P. But I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing! :)

[quinfinn]

maturity setting not necessary in my humble opinion, although a little naughty in a couple of spots, those references seem harmless enough to me. this is a beautifully written and exquisitely constructed poem, unmarred by the usual trappings of sing-songy poetry (from which i rarely personally refrain) so i must impart to you that i am duly envious and impressed. excellent write! library...

[Chloe]

This is extremely dark and intricate. I don't know if I would set this for anyone because it's clearly depicting some very taciturn images but I don't believe it should be rated Mature. These sordid images of distorted passion evoke a very provocative mindset that teeters on the dangerous. I find this extremely interesting. Very well done, my dear.

[Richard Williams]

Poetry that bursts to the forefront. Such fine combinations; "natural velvet exquisite pigmented flash." Kudos.

[The Great Nothing]

I can't say anything here that already hasn't been said. Beautiful words.

[shoaib]

dont think it should be set to mature, but this was a very beautiful descriptive piece
also can tell you write with fluidity and its not forced the way you use the words
awesome job :)

[.]

this is exquisite..such colour language and gritty reality

[Revolutionary]

I love the guitat metaphore.It is not mature cause it is all inuindo.It is like the hidden messages in shrek.A kid wouldn't get it and would never understand a poem this deep anyways

[Aidz]

2nd stanza is excellent, casts such wonderous imagry.. great write

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A free flowing mass of contradiction and emotional prose, well written, great job.

[JustNeedToBeHappy]

Oh yay, fellow Manics fan *dances with joy* :D This is beautiful and violent as death.