{hi. my name is...}

04.14.23

pick away at my heart

like they are guitar strings

with no words left to say

strum the chords of my soul

like they are violin bow hairs

with no secrets left to sing

play the melody of us

like they are piano keys

with no love left to share

use me as an instrument

please make my body hum 

let me be your symphony

Reviews

[Kane Hagwood]

Bare with my poetic metaphor in regard to your poem:

The first stanza feels like I'm walking up to an old friends house, with Taylor Swift (for some reason) singing said stanza while strumming a guitar.

And then.... it's like you enter the house, and it's all too familiar. Too real somehow. Some sense of fear and longing. This poem holds both a possessive and euphoric feeling. Like, "This is the best case, even if I'm being played." Some of the language that's used makes me suspect this longing to harmonize wasn't a healthy give and take. A sense of obligation that holds what good that remains.

"Please make my body hum," made me giggle, with every sense of maturity leaving my body in that instance. Like.... using OTHER means to find.... uh.... a forgotten paradise? Self induced? Again, just how it was worded gave me that impression.

-Kane [Official Haiku License Holder] (lol)

[living lavender]

i stayed for the ride and was not disappointed.
i enjoyed your poetic perspective on this piece. my favorite part of writing.
is how others digest my words.

i am glad i changed that ending to 'hum' - it wasn't going to make it. yet. nothing else seem to fit the emotion quite as well as. hum.

{how do i get my haiku license?? lol}

[retreating ghost]

Quite interesting poem, on first read feels like an expression of love and commitment but also has a dark undertone of blindly following and losing oneself in the process .Enjoyed reading it.
Thanks LL .

[living lavender]

charming obsession with unstable progression.
thank you for your thoughtful attention.
{i respect your feedback.}

[poetgurl]

Wow, This is really good, quite an enjoyable read.
Love the metaphors

[living lavender]

thank you babe. i appreciate your loving words.
{flattered.}

[emmajoygreen]

A cleverly metaphorical poem offering the lyrics for reviewers to see but - leaving the emotions wrapped in your very own melody. Finely laid, living lavender.

[living lavender]

thank you for your review.
i genuinely appreciate your feedback.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

really nice metaphor throughout the poem.
"let me be your symphony" is quite a line.

makes me think of Neil Diamond's "Play Me"----
j.

[living lavender]

thank you. truly
that line. specifically.
holds a deeper meaning than all the rest in this piece. {thank you for noticing.}