Freak

I feel like a caged animal. I am either on display for laughter and shock, or ignored, while I rot away. This is how I feel some "friends" treat me.

I am a monster. I am a freak of nature, and a mutant in the eyes of others. They either stare or look away. Are they afraid of me? Am I too different to comprehend? Do they look away because they don't notice me? Or do they look away because they are afraid? My normal skin appears green in their eyes, the shell that contains the beast.The shell that hides something so bizarre that words cannot describe.

I am different. I am strange. The freak within the cage, the animal in the zoo that you have never seen before. You stare intently at me, the one who is caged, of normal outside appearance, but find me too intense for your liking, and you move on. Once again you leave me alone in the dark, and I am lonely and afraid. The dark of the night brings the unknown.

You see me as a third wheel on a broken car. I am a spare tire. You want to use me to get to where you are, then you put me away again, only to take me out when necessary. You use me as support for a temporary cause...and you call me your friend. Sometimes I'm too desperate to notice. I get lost in fantasy, but once again I am left alone. I am crammed in the trunk with your other unused junk, or thrown in a cage. I am stared at like a freak by those who walk by, just like you. Just like your friends.

Sometimes I don't know what to say to get your attention. I am blown off. I want to cry out. I want to say who I am, give you my name, pour out the rain that is my emotions...but I am bound and gagged by normality. Inside I start to lose sight of who I am. By trying to fit in, I have been broken like a cheap, used toy. I am the animal who has lost her ability to speak. I try to use words, but all you hear are barks and growls. My speech is gibberish in your ears. You tune me out. You forget me. Yet you call yourselves friends.

So once again I lay down in my cage. Green skinned, unable to speak, I am detached from the world like a spare tire taken off of a car. I am a broken toy, one you forgot about long ago. I am a phase and a gimmick. I am a brief trend long passed. You have left me to rot like old fruit. You have let me sit too long and dry up in the sun. You are not my friends. You were never my friends. You never will be.

Author's Note

Comment as you like, just keep any criticism constructive and gentle!

Reviews

[K.J. Bryen]

Very nicely done. I think as writers, a lot of us have unique ideas, and find it hard to relate to others. I know I've always had this problem. Beautifully said.

[MK-Lore]

Thank you. :)

[Ma'at]

i like this and i can relate. it is clearly written from the heart and must have been somewhat painful to write, at least I'd think so. it is really good.
-GS

[MK-Lore]

Thank you! I wrote it during a period of time in which I felt extremely left-out.