Wide Awake

Trickery and Deceit, what two un-blissful feelings

Close your eyes,

count to ten.

Be aware of what lies

in their play pen.

That hate you feel,

that sorrow,

that right they steal,

they name as borrow.

Keep them peeled,

keep them close,

keep them sealed,

keep them remorse.

They'll come to apologize,

ask for forgiveness

soon you'll realize,

it's none of your business.

So keep them peeled,

even in your sleep,

their evil intents soon revealed,

you'll come to realize they'll hurt you deep.

And for your sake

even in your dreams

you're wide awake

to prevent your screams.

Reviews

[Louvegrise14]

That was incredible. I believe English teachers would say it "shows impressive command of the English language." Great job with the rhyming (I have trouble doing so in poems), and it flows very nicely.

[L.L. Lily]

thanks Lou :)

[Inspiring Writer]

Third last stanza's great and well penned into your real words, liked this stuffs. great job.

[L.L. Lily]

thank you very much :) I didn't expect anyone to review my work so I sincerely thank you!

[Inspiring Writer]

Your welcome... But may i ask... lol why you didn't expect anyone reviewing your nice work ?

[L.L. Lily]

I feel like it's not good enough and this is the first time someone reviewed it :)

[Inspiring Writer]

lol.. really, is that a first time you got review.. .. !!!!!!1
well, i don't think that write's bad, i liked that write and words you use in this write. Just write and post what ever you want don't worry about others how other'll think about your writes...as well as don't worry about reviews :) those who love reading stuffs they;ll give you reviews ;)
just keep writing :)

[L.L. Lily]

thank you very much :)