Lost at sea

I built this boat of Black Locust and Oak

To sail the seven seas

To cross blue waters, brave black storms

So I could get to me

Labour all night, sleep all day

The voyage could begin

Sail away on Columbus Day

Look for remission of sin

The storm was too fierce, the water too high

Like the Battle of the Bismarck Sea,

my boat is sinking.  No matter how I tried

I couldn't make it to me.

Reviews

[therisa]

Would offer you
A lifeline or two
To tow you.

Should you accept
To the nearest shore
For repairs.

As we swap
Our tales of adventure
Or misadventure
As the case
Maybe.

Just my 2 cents from the frozen and snow north.

[RealistMe]

Sorry about the delay. It's been a rough week for me and December is already a tragic month. I really like the flow of this poem. I get the impression, that a pirate is narrating. LOL! My only correction would be the "M" towards the end. I think you should capitalize it on "my." Then, it will look more aligned with the other lines, since the letters are all capitalized. Anyway, good job! :)

[Bob Sherunkle]

That was stunning Lourisa,really stunning.Maybe we're all lost at sea..if we are I'm f****** drowning! lovely write..as usual.

[Neon]

Ah! you penned the most realistic moments of the life into the words. It's a very nice poem, i loved the topic as well but i hate seeing you tired.

Well penned!

By the way, if may i ask then is this write came from your Insomnia??

[Lourisa]

Thanks Neon. No, this one has nothing to do with insomnia except that it was written in the middle of the night ;)

[Neon]

My pleasure as always, Loury!
Ha! Thank God :)

so, what were you thinkin' of when you were jotting the words of the write?

[MsJewel]

Wonderful use of metaphor and imagery in this insightful poem. Very well written Lourisa.

:) Julie

[Lourisa]

Thanks Julie. Much appreciated.

[Pryde Foltz]

Hello … no six months in a leaky boat? You call yourself a Kiwi? LOL.

Look for remission of sin

I suppose it would take the wildest of seas to do this. Great write.

[Lourisa]

Ah, six months in a leaky boat - that's just a myth, you guys got it all wrong ;) thanks for the review.

[Sugar Plum ♥]

I really loved this poem...Makes me feel all the search of the soul. The sailing in stormy water is something for everyone to experience, but as you persist in searching yourself, you`ll find yourself...I liked all references here about building of the boat, about oak tree, and Columbus day. And losing yourself is not so bad, as then will come the light of the way! One of my favorite poems...♥

:: nour ::
::06.12.013 ::

[Lourisa]

Thanks for your lovely words. I'm glad you enjoyed it.