I Viddy Vaddied a Show

I was reading A Clockwork Orange for the hundredth time and decided I'd adopt Burgess's writing style and give it a fun go around.(: Short spurt.

Now this scallydag witwinger sauntered up to me, all high and mighty and spiffed up like he came back from a Class A show. Spouted some nonsense about have a grand ol' gala in the back room. Hopped right up to me and got all in my willow.
A simple "no sir" would shoo most men off to find a new victim, but this bloak was high as the moon-off his rocker- hittin' tonic- intoxicated.

No amount of nos or flock offs would do the fancy so I pushed the lug wayward and off his perch; to the level ground of tile. Now, no one liked to be floorboard, especially not a drunken fool like this.

"Aye mate, take the hint." With an easy air I windpiped the age-old brush off.
"Da flock is this? A bitty lass taking bounts with me? Me?!"
His slurry disposition and slogging words only amused me to pieces.
"Aye, aye! You were mountin' me like I gave the right-way! What the flock was I gonna? Let it happen? No sir, not a chance!"

His demeanor changed from hoot-n-holler to roar-n-murder right quick then, and it was that moment I realized what I had gotten myself into. The witwinger's tux coat had that oh-so obvious symbol of a 90 degree angle. This drunk bloak before me was none other than the notorious 2-Faced Ace of the BentBacks.

A shuddering shock that, if my teeth hadn't been clenched in a snarl of a bite, would be chattering clams alright.

"Speak again, Ducky. Dare ya."

Now if I could, I would. Follow up with some folo quip on being all proper-like and gentlemanly. Because I like a good bash-in-troupe. And I like to start them even more. But, no, my wits left just about the same time a bit of piss escaped thee human-hole up front, All that came from my gap was harmed animal sounds- a whimper, squeak, and moan thrown out in one shot.

The smile that spread- oh so willy nilly- on 2-Faced Ace's face, made me think he had a hidden third face there. One more evil than the first two.

"In out." I've heard. Yes, he was going to go for the old "in-out-squish-bab" if I ever knew a thing. A nice squish to the head, a nice bab to the chest,

All sunshine and worms here. Yes siree. Dirt infested wish s**t.

And as 2-Faced Ace began his in-out; I began to shut down real quick so I didn't have to be sound to feel that wonderful squish.



And that was the end of her.

Author's Note

As I said, I was reading A Clockwork Orange and was inspired by Anthony Burgess's wonderfully artistic way about going about wording things and thought I'd like to try my own little lingo, in my own little way. And I got this.