All About Me

This is my brother's writing and I found it really fantastic.

Shall I compare me to a cute monkey?

I'm tricky,funny and I love to play.

If you want to stop me,you'll need a key.

Where you'll need to construct it from wet clay!

I'm a bouncy ball, like water and leaven.

Bouncing on the wet mud, and wish to fly!

Hope I will be an angle in heavens,

Living surrounded by clouds, and touch the sky!

I am a panda which sleep hours long.

When I wake up,I feel like I'm dying.

Such as messing up all my homework wrong,

then tears appear on my face and crying.

I'm really childish,fancy and crazy.

After playing around,I'll be lazy!

Author's Note

Thanks to my brother for lending me his writing. Kindly review it please.

PS.Leaven and water reacts that make bread rise. My brother is just like a bouncy ball on Earth that make everyone happy.

Reviews

[creative Marie]

this is a really cute, fun, and imaginative poem with a hint of UGGGH life. pretty much me every day :)

[MomzillaNC]

Interesting and playful imagery.

NOTES: I recommend you make another pass for grammar, particularly for tense to adverb and/or adjective use.

[LuLuIcey]

Thanks, I will pass it as soon as possible(well, my grammar is horrible and I think I need a lot of effort for my exam soon...).

Thanks for reviewing my brother's piece! He will be jovial!

[MomzillaNC]

The best education for writing grammatically is to read great writing. Read Peter Mayle and Georgette Heyer; both are superlative writers grammatically. "Writers write always. Great writers read, then write."