Habits

a short poem

Itches scratched at

With nails chewed to stubs.

Scabs picked at

'Til they start to drool blood.

Hair twisted and pulled at

With fingers that fidget

That curl at the mouth

While teeth submit to it.

Author's Note

Written in passive voice, which, in a way, personifies the body parts and conveys a lack of control over the compulsions.

Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I definitely get the device you're using, as if the behaviors themselves are imposing on the person, & it works well in this case. I love it when a writer SHOWS instead of TELLS & this is a perfect example. Each reader can imagine the scenario vividly, as we ponder what would make us feel so neurotic & full of anguish. Really good choices of behaviors to illustrate this.

[Luuucy]

Thank you! I usually do too much telling and I struggle with showing the feelings. This kind of did both at the same time. Thank you for the review!

[Lyn Anderson]

bus seat.
hairy man.
eyes dart.
block hand.
digging in.
something green.
pant cuff collection.

[Inject Positivity]

Hello Lucy, I liked the structure of the poem, it is short but very meaningful, very well balanced, if you read it with concentration you can find a very deep meaning... i think the title really suits it... the use of body parts made it more meaningful to me.... use of words was very good too...

[Inject Positivity]

Hello Lucy, I liked the structure of the poem, it is short but very meaningful, very well balanced, if you read it with concentration you can find a very deep meaning... i think the title really suits it... the use of body parts made it more meaningful to me.... use of words was very good too...

[Luuucy]

Thank you, I usually make longer poems but this seemed like all it needed. Thanks for taking your time with it

[Lyn Anderson]

I love the image. Strong. Two things, you could totally expand this theme -- do a second part to this one, or a series of nasty habits -- picking one's nose comes to mind ... and second, I might consider swapping and for That in the second last line. Read it aloud and see what you like.:)

[Luuucy]

thanks for your feedback, I'll contemplate maybe a second stanza

[Curtis.Lenker]

I like this poem. Its short sweet and emotional. Good job here.

[Luuucy]

Thank you!