Chapter (4) BURGER BOY.

 

I love to eat beef burgers

With cheese and salad too,

they come with lots of crispy fries

That are really great to chew.

 

My Mum she says that I'm naughty

For leaving on my plate,

All the little green bits

And sliced tomatoes that I hate.

 

When I drink too many Colas

They make me jump around

And sometimes when I fidget

I knock things on the ground.

 

The lady in the burger shop

Is really very kind

She cleans it up and tells my Mum

She really doesn't mind.

 

Yes folks we've all been there.

Author's Note

ANY COMMENTS WELCOME.

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

I have experienced this as a parent and as an "innocent" bystander. I must admit I do like to visit a good burger joint now and again.

[Baby Ricochet]

Man do I ever want a burger now, with cheese, a s**t load of cheese. HHHMMMMM................

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

I'll bet you were that little boy.

[Marie]

Yes, we certainly have all been there--at least I have.
I think in the thind line of the first verse You should say "They" come with lots of crispy fries, because you usd the plural in the first line.
Also, Perhaps "The lady in (the) burger shop" would be better in the last verse. These are small tings, and I mention them only because I now you want real critiques of your work and not just passing praise.

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Yep, well done my dear friend. I'll correct that now.

[MomzillaNC]

Oi! That's my kid! LMAO :D

[Blessed Vagrant]

I don't really know why I like this poem., read it like 4 times and still want to read now... i guess some where deep down we all want to be kids and that's what this poem is making us feel like... Being a kid again!!

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

I'm pleased you like it. I'm trying to write much simpler poetry just to make people smile more.