Chapter (12) AN EASTER SURPRISE.

JUST A TEST POEM FOR EASTER. I NEED FEEDBACK TO IMPROVE IT.

A hen was laying Easter eggs

All around the garden,

When they pop out they're really soft

And need some time to harden.

 

The wind was strong and blowing hard

That fateful Easter day,

And our silly little speckled hen

Was squatting the wrong way.

 

A gust of wind came whistling

Around the hen house side,

Poor hen had laid another egg

But the wind blew it back inside.

 

It was a shock for speckled hen

And tears welled in her eyes.

She hopped and skipped around the yard

As she squawked in great surprise.

 

Now when Easter comes around

And hen must lay her eggs,

She first checks the wind direction

By looking through her legs.

Author's Note

I WANT TO IMPROVE THIS DITTY. PLEASE LEAVE ME SOME FEEDBACK.

Reviews

[Terpsichore]

Ouch! She could always try lifting a finger to the wind. :) T

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

COME ON chickens don't have fingers. Glad you enjoyed it. Many thanks for reading.

[Jamestown]

So creative and witty, this was a joy to read! Well written and very humorous!
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Many thanks for this great review. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Tania]

I enjoyed reading this!:)

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Thank you.

[Marie]

The first two verses are good and show promise, but then there's a letdown. Just one egg that blue back inside isn't very muh. Now if she'd kept on laying eggs and had them all blow back inside you'd have had a good story.

Also, the lines "When they pop out they're really soft/And need some time to harden just hang there, serving no purpose. But you could build on that idea too.

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Thanks Marie. I see your points. I'll see if I can improve it more.
Regards.

[Terpsichore]

Doesn't need much changing, actually it's really, really good, and very funny. T

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Well thank you. I wasn't sure it was good enough to post here.