Highways

A Poem by M.J. Gamboa.

Encounters by highways aren't always the best options

You are dancing,
I am watching,
We are standing.

By the highway
as cars drive past
and flash their lights
- At us.

We wave
and we flash our smiles,
because we feel like
stars in the sky.

You hold my hand
as though you’re a child
clinging to their balloon
- You will never let me go.

And your touch eases my ailings

and triggers emotion.

I can’t describe
the passion I feel,
when I take your hand
and your ice melts to fit mine.

The wind is whipping at us,
your lips a soft blue,
whispering soft phrases
and leaving a taste
of coffee, mint
and some other places.

I turned and I looked
at the streams of city lights
that burst with electricity
and inspire my mind.

Like a flood gate,
my lips part.
As my words start spinning
in the air.

I ran out to catch them,
past the double lines
- Everything I see
is simply blurring lights.

You say something
and hold me back,
cradle my head,
kiss my neck.

I don’t know when I fell
but now I see the sky,
stars that are falling,
and your lips mouthing

''Why''

© 2016 M.J. Gamboa.

Author's Note

Poem i'm most proud of, it can have very different meanings so with your honest review i would like you to say what meaning do you see in it, thank you for reading

My Review

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Reviews

SeemsPoetic

Hello there M.J. Gamboa

This poem to me, expresses the wonder of love and how the company of another can sometimes be so enjoyable that one can become too care free; inevitably becoming ones own downfall.This was a spectacular poem overall. The great thing you captured with this poem is the "feeling in the moment" of this poem, rather than a past tense experience which... even myself, tend to make the mistake of doing when I write poetry.

The only thing you may want to consider changing would be in my opinion, your unneeded use of "and"
In some parts of the poem. "as" or other combining words would work well... just so "and" is not so repetitive.

The first time I read it my attention was on how many times "and" was used rather than the poem. I read it a second time removing "and"... and replacing them as I went; by doing this it became much easier to focus on the content of the poem.

But... maybe I am just a stickler when it comes to the word and!

Keep on writing M.J. Gamboa. It does not matter what others may say about your work, if your proud of it... in the end that is all that matters if you love doing it.