Unopened Letter To The Father That Walked Out

Dear "Dad",

       For the past 21 years I managed to get through life without having a solid father figure around. 21 years of not getting that unbreakable bond that only a father and daughter can share. The one that can only be built with years, and years of heart felt memories. But I managed.

       For weeks after you left, I would sit by the window all dressed up waiting for you to come pick me up like you promised. Hours would go by and mom would have to wake me up and physically take me out of my coat and boots because I didnt want to believe that you weren't coming. How was she supposed to explain to her 5 year old daughter that her father found better things to do, than "babysit" his own child? She never did. She always made up excuses for you. Told me that something came up or that you had went out of town for a few days. But you wouldn't know that. How each time you broke your promise, I waited for hours and then cried myself to sleep.

       You text me every so couple of months just to tell me Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas. Never to see how I've been or what I've been up to. No effort to call. You blame me every time because im the one that should making all the efforts right? I don't hear from you in months, but im supposed to jump at opportunities to see or talk to you? We're pratically strangers. Biological strangers. And you have yourself to thank for that.

       Going over to friends' house and seeing the relationship between them and their fathers killed me every time. They'd always tell them they loved them, or tell us to be safe when we went out for the night. I was jealous because I never got that. I never got concern or the slightist hint that you might care. I never got to hear you tell me that you loved me. Not once. Maybe you just had too much pride or didn't know any better. I always hoped one day you would change your mind. Muster up enough courage to finally be a man I could look up to. But you were never my hero and I was never your little girl..

       You never got to tell me I looked beautiful in my dress right before I went to my first homecoming and prom. You never warned me about s****y relationships or that guys at that age were only after one thing. You never got to sit and laugh with me for hours and make memorable moments, or take me to get my first car. You never came to softball or soccer games, which i was really good at, but you wouldn't know because you weren't there to see me play defense, or watch me throw from right field to home. You were never there. Which led me to believe that you really don't love me at all because how could you possibly love someone you know nothing about. You never bothered to learn my passions, my fears or even something as simple as my favorite color.

       I used to blame myself. Mom blamed herself too. I thought maybe if I tried harder. She thought maybe if she did better. Maybe if I was different you would have come around. Maybe if she would have found a better man who could step up and accept his actions things would be different. But now I realize it was never me all along and I pray she knows it was never her too. I'm glad you realized your faults and stepped up for your other two daughters because I would hate to see them feel like I do. From a 5 year old who used to cry for you I turned into a teenager who hated you, then turned all that hatred toward all men. All I expected from guys was broken trust and disapointment because that's all you've shown me. I blame you for making me this way. I blame you for every good relationship I've ruined because deep down it was you who messed up, not me.

       It's your loss. It's your loss that you didnt get to know me. That you'll never get to make that bond with me. It's your loss that you won't be the one walking me down the aisle at my wedding, or who i dance my father/ daughter dance with. it's your loss that you can barly call me you daughter cause you don't know me at all. It's your loss that your grandkids won't know you as a grandfather, but a simple story of a man who walked out because they won't be the burden to you, like I was.

       Through everything I want to thank you. I want to thank you for messing up because without you I wouldn't know all the traits I don't want in a man. I wouldn't know that having a child at such a young age with a deadbeat would not only break my heart, but break my child's heart too. I would never put myself through that knowing all that I know now. Thank you so much for leaving because it made the bond between mom and I stronger than ever. She loved me with everything she had even when it was all she had. She's my hero. I was and will always be her little girl.

Thank you,

Your "Daughter"

Reviews

[Sanhorsey]

The emotions are described nicely, can really relate to them. And I am planning to read more of your works.

[Cyndy Robinson]

Karma has a way of going around, someday everyone will leave him. If not physically emotionally. Very heartfelt piece. I hope it healed you some to write it!

[Richard Patrick]

It sounds like you have had a rough life. You have developed
to be very understanding woman. My mother pulled too.
People around you, may not have all the answers. We all have
faults, some people are never willing to accept that they are
with faults.

Some people think only of themselves. You are not one of those
people, you believed that he would return when he said he would
That belief must have been devastating to realize he lied.

You needed trust, but were unable to accept that one who was so
important could lie to you. How dare he? There was no way in
which that you could accept the fact.

I believed in saint Nick until 14 years of age. I am still a kid at heart.
I could not believe my mother and father lied to me, about his existance.
It amazed me, that they lied. I could not think that they had done this to
me.

Sincerely


Richard Patrick Edwards

[richieb]

Maria, thank you for some hard as nails sharing. I feel your broken heart and am sorry you had to through so much pain growing up. I can relate to a lot of your story, I tell people my Dad taught me how not to do it. Keep growing, ask for God's Peace. I am happy your Mom has been there for you. You told your story with dignity, passion and truth. You are a very good writer, look forward to reading more of your stories. Many Blessings, Richie B.

[SnowCat]

Very well written...growing up without a father can be difficult. It can leave a child wondering what did I do wrong. Truth is sometimes parents just are gonna be there for you thankfully your mother was. As you put you learned alot that's good. It's never a child's fault when they aren't wanted it is always the parents. Great letter awesome emotion and you came through great. Maybe you had to reach farther or try harder to become who you are but you made it keep up the good work and thank you for sharing.

[Deanna M.]

This is a very well written letter. I can feel the pain as I continued to read what you wrote in the letter to your dad. So many people grow up with fathers not even knowing who they are. I'm sorry that you had to grow up with out a father, but I like the way you put it into a letter. Very good job!!