One Last Goodbye

A girl and guy are in love. Young love that is. The girl is going back home where she belongs. They are saying there final goodbyes. They don't realize that once she leaves everything changes.

He wraps his arms around me
Looks me in the eyes to only see;
Slowly moving in to kiss me

As his lips touch mine
I feel my heart beat faster
I can’t breathe at that time!

And for that moment
I’m not afraid
He whispers into my ear
I love you dear

Then looks me in the eyes
Before I say goodbye
And everything changes...

Reviews

[Ama May Cooper]

A good piece, seems to unfold slightly too quickly tho, almost as if its missing a vital paragraph just before the end.
From the heart, altho lacking any real deep emotion.
A very nice piece x

[Diego]

You capture the moment very well. Giving the reader a sense that they are the person saying goodbye. I also like how the ending is left open for interpretation. Everyone can come up with there own ideas of how everything will change!

[bubbles]

:) grate very powerful and full of feeling. well written. perhaps put 'goodbye' on a new line to slow the ending and bring it down on a lower note?? just an idea. loved it