Written pre deletion. day. August 2007.
Island unliving!
The British Isles
A nucleus of solitary confinement,
the stoney walls of living,
or is it living?
Question, don't question,
ask but do not ask,
answers left unsaid.
Seas that rage, skys that burn,
a future full of fear,
remove thy footprint.
Tormented, this bubble is a lie,
a paradox of creation,
it never ends.
This reminds me of where I grew up and the world now.
"The seas that rage,
Skyies that burn,
A future full of fear..."
Those are very strong words.
Well written.
interesting... icy cold i am after reading it a third time through. this is super great writing! heart-wrenching and frightening. i have no description words because you used all the good ones up in your piece. nice job
This is a little bi cynical but of course, as you know I'm as cynical as they come. I have a few suggestions, make Sea's seas and put som sort of punctuation (most likely a comma) after Tormented so that there is a pause. It'll make it easier to understand so far as I can tell. Oh, and skys should be skies. Otherwise it was perfect and very deep. Good write overall.
wow, that's a deeper pool than which I know how to swim!! It's riveting and fascinating; feverish.
I love "remove thy footprint", a rebellion amidst the solemn surrender stands up to be heard.
Beautiful.
Tormented this bubble is a lie,
a paradox of creation,
it never ends.
Music Playlist at MixPod.com
Outside the Cafe
Esperanza e inspiracin (Hope and Inspiration)
Everyday without exception I shed silent tears.
Just ask me, I won't bite. N.. more..