The Morning Saxophone

constructive criticism always welcome

The bed spring squeaks.
She hasn’t gotten up for three weeks.
House forgotten, her body rotten
Eighty-four years
Gush out of that carcass’     
Mouth, eyes and ears.

***
Timid string of light
(In the shape of saxophone)
Plays its tune down
 her darkened window
where 

unborn black holes silently crawl
down the curtain
and up the wall
of a morning swallowed and gone

The morning saxophone
Plays its tune down
her wrinkled arm
Like self-assured goose-bump
That spills dancing rivers down
Down, down, down
to start the lifeline of her palm
and end the dawn

Timid string of light
Born out of Kali’s charm

in the womb of numbness-night
Creeps into her room
To spill softly on the ground
and scatter drops of doom
Of Dali paint in the silhouette
of a covered painting stand

Timid string of light
Leaves warm prints on the floor
And travels up and down
Her closed door
Playing out her acoustic quilt
(What is born is meant to wilt.)
Last night.
Last shore.
Last note in the score.
Timid string of light
Paints her this morning
Hades’ bride.
***
The bed spring squeaks.
She hasn’t gotten up for thirty weeks.
House rotten, her body forgotten
Eighty-four years
Shine bright
In timid string of light
In the shape of saxophone

Reviews

[Magnolia]

An amazing poem. I was directed to it by a friend, and glad I didn't miss it !. I wondered how anyone could begin to write like this, but I see by your comments that it was from real life. you have done the old lady a great justice with this fantastic poetry...Maggie

[Marri]

Thank you, Maggie, your comment is truly beautiful and warms up my heart!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A very gritty piece indeed as this elderly ladies life is laid out like a corpse as she takes to her bed to die. The sax is perhaps an allegory for life as she once knew it?

[Chris]

Dark and bright... reflect-full and structured.

[Marri]

thank you, Chris :) I hope my poem found you inspired and full of summer air :)

[Chris]

I was wandering the site...looking in on writers and friends. I wanted to hear some of your thoughts.

[Marri]

it is an honour for my thoughts to be heard and dissected by you, they keep a lot of respect for readers like you!

[Chris]

dissect? - no, appreciate and listen - yes,

[Marri]

another proof for the importance of the right word :)

[Stella Armour]

i am new to this site and am so engrossed in your poetry that i am saving some of it to read further into...absolutely brilliant penning Marri..

[Marri]

Thank you very much, Stella! Feel warmly welcomed to this site and I hope it brings you as much inspiration as it brought me :)

[Ken Simm.]

Macabre, surreaL even sometimes disgusting but nontheless poignant, tragic and very very beautifully done.

[Marri]

All the adjectives I was actually going for (macabre, surreal and sometimes disgusting). Compliment hits right at the heart.

[Circe]

vividly conjured.. a macabre scene of stillness and strange fascination.. the way you describe the light, the saxophone and many musical hints, kali and the reference to death... you create a sort of moment of silence and remembrance without any immediate familiarity, it's like anyone can visit this scene and find something to take with them.. you really have a way of bringing out the small moments that might have otherwise been lost.

[Marri]

Thank you! I think you really figured out my obsession with zooming in. There exists so much intensity in certain moments, those that are self-sufficient to perfection, that they contain an absorbing emotion...

[FJ Davis]

A truly creative and perceptive piece, excellently executed.
Very fine work, Marri!

[Marri]

Thank you! It was written for an old woman who was found dead after weeks in an abandoned house....I was in the progress of changing it to a song, we will see :)