Colors of Loss

Time you want back

The color of my hair
It was a coarse black

Age takes it's toll
Your struggles have changed it
Is that life
Probably so
This is my first go around
You try to fix you
That's nothing new

Colors age
You walk right past
My life is cold
I invite change
You have questions
Your path failed
You see I was right

I am shriveled
Fluids feel good in my arteries
Thank you for the velvet
We cannot share this bed
No room for two
The earth sounds like rain
I'm hidden by the storm

It was a coarse black

Author's Note

All criticism welcome.

Reviews

[Wakeofahero]

I actually feel sad in this alot. The poem itself holds so much meaning and depth that you can't simply pick out one point you like about it. There is a very lot to think about here, so much is going on, but the words themselves aren't scattered everywhere. Altogether, I thought this to be a very interesting and intriguing write. Well done for basically stumping me in my feelings, and well done on a piece so deep. I ultimately like this write, and would absolutely recommend it to others.

[David Scott]

I have spent many days in hospital care myself. You brought me back face to face with the pictures of my losses. I especially liked " thank you for this velvet we cannot share this bed". Sorry that you have seen these colors yourself

[The Refined Poet]

nice progression from young to old. I think it is a great poem.

[BIIKAY]

awsome!! I like how the idea of the poem starts young then ends old !

[Amanda J. S.]

Wow.. Beautiful! symbolic! just great! Love "Thank you for the velvet" :-)

[Tree]

A lot to ponder here, the struggle to stay relevant in this realm, time's
relentless pace. Next thing you know we're looking in the mirror, and asking:
Where did it all go? I love the slow march of the poem, the questions it
brings up. And sadly I can relate. I like this piece Mascenik..

[Tate Morgan]

It seems a lament for the labors of life and the price we all have to pay for our brief moment in the sunlight of youth Well done i liked it

[Rtrt]

Thank you. I'm writing with your suggestions in mind.

[Tate Morgan]

cool