Humanity Is At It's Finest.

When did single become a death sentence?

Who would've thought a heart could be so sharp?

Time was ticking,

and you were counting down.

Licking w****s.

Making your way around.

In the depths of desire,

emotions set on fire.

The world shifted.

Your heart changed.

Sanity danced,

on the brink of insane.

Darkness closed in.

By the light we were shunned.

What once was a game,

no longer was fun.

I held it.

But you fired the gun.

Beautiful blood poured from my head.

You didn't kiss me good night,

when you put me on my death bed.

"forever.."

You LIED.

This shadow of murder

is called suicide.

Reviews

[Devons]

This is like 'the last post' in the battle between monogamy and polygamy. It seems to me to show the transition from youth to maturity, naivete to experience..
"What once was a game,
no longer was fun.
I held it.
But you fired the gun."
..Subtle and forceful lines, which reflect the concept of playing and over-stepping the mark. To the point where it hurts. And then the difference is learned. But if the game is big enough, the realisation of its danger is a lesson which is learned too late, and can end fatally - metaphorical or otherwise.
There is a bitter brutality in the words and imagery of this poem that has a profound effect. And the conclusion is dramatic in this way..
""forever.."
You LIED.
This shadow of murder
is called suicide."
These last two lines are proverbial. We do it to ourselves...with the help of others..
Powerful piece of work.

[Jim Lozkittle]

Raw and deep, felt the feeling trough the monitor

[Shante Payne]

I see why you write the songs for your band...your mind is an intresting creature. "Sanity danced" best line of all...

[Doreen]

Something many of us can relate to. Very honest and harsh. I like this.

[AP Roberts]

This is a powerful and heartfelt poem. I love how you placed the rhyme and divided the stanzas as it makes the message that much more prominent.

[justAnumber]

Very raw and honest. I love this piece. Thank you for sharing.

[Forever Mine]

Wow.... That was so sick and twisted... I love it! The title caught my attention and i couldnt stop reading... amazing!

[Lorame]

Wow, very direct and clear. Powerful.

[Aven]

This really got to me. It is one really captivating, horrifying, beautiful piece of writing. Thanks!

I love the whole poem but the ending wow its amazing

[Justina]

sounds like the "you" parts in this poem was refering to me. haha
but amazing poem. it flowed together perfectly.