Starlight, I

A poem about my Guitar.

I Live

For the sound you get

When the gain on your amp

Is too damn loud

And a single brush of your fingertips

Emits a sound that echoes through your

Every nerve

I Yearn

The sound of bones

Covered of flesh

Pressing down

On the neck of my lover

Whispering to her so sweetly

When my other hand

Uses its fingers

To travel downward

Her curvy body

And back up

To create an inspiration

That the wind decides to carry

To the ear of innocent souls

Now addicted to this rush

I Strum

For all the souls

That will never know

 

How fast your heart can actually beat

When you are with

The one you desire

The one you crave to hear

The one who leaves you breathless

I have awaken again

Learning her ways

She frees me

She knows me

She wants me

She has me

She speaks to me in a lovely tone

And plays me a melody

I Love

 Her, for she was my first

And forever my Starlight,

        

                          -Maylin Rise

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Critiques Please. But don't tell me what's wrong with it, if you can't tell me how to make it right.

Reviews

[KL]

This... was... INCREDIBLE!!!! I am in love with how you made your love for the guitar so real. You made it so human - yet music is so human, isn't it? I found it incredibly interesting how most poets who write analogize humans to music but in this case you did the opposite, and boy did it work. Amazing, amazing, amazing!

Thank you!

[Legion]

My bass would like this, but you'd have to say it in a deeper voice though. ;) Great write.

[Emily]

What a nice, sensuous piece of writing. You've done well here to convey the playing of any finely tuned instrument. Well written and nicely done with the world choice. I like the simple section with
"She frees me

She knows me

She wants me

She has me'

That is very well done and very simplistic.

the one suggestion I do have is to take away the "u" in the second sentence and put in "you" simply because to abbreviate takes away the class and presentation form this piece.

Once again, nice work!

[Tate Morgan]

Its not wrong it is you and it tells a beauties tale of wandering lust for the kind love of music To relate music and love is as old as man .The difference is you have the control of the whole xperiance

[Bobbiegirl]

GBU put it so succinct that I don't know how to improve on their review, so all I can say is wonderful poem.

[Aimee Mahathy]

haha, great note! I should use that some time >.> Really though, that's a great point.
To me, I can't really see anything wrong with it.
It's raw and pure, and that way it is perfect as it is.
You've no idea how much I enjoyed reading this :]
Great job!

[GBU POETRY ONLY]

Starlight, I is just a lovely homage to your wonderful guitar.
It's has a sensual quality that most guitars and instruments
have when you play them. Love the lines re: strum sounds
that resonate thru every nerve.. The lines describing your
guitar as a human form and the last stanza: "how fast your heart"
down to "And forever my Starlight" that expresses a deep loving
relationship with your guitar..
Kudos, MR!
LLR