jack of all trades

i drown
in my own blood
everytime i try to achieve
what my mind commands
it seems i'm cursed by my own shadow
"you've got a way with words" she says
but a brief look inside reminds me of my place

i'm a jack of all trades in constant debt
see how i rhyme that with the depht
of my depression
can I ignore pontuation?
see our company has been stuck in recession
does that work better?
oh you flatter me
what poetry without rhyme
what poetry of mine without murk!

i believe the cause of these too many branches
root in my rush for recognition
panic emerges
voices converge
"it ain't working, change the lane"
and so i immerse myself on the next adventure and forget i once wanted to be a writer
of stories
look at me - a tale teller
now a software bender
one half quarter way, looked back
"but i just started" i say
"we don't have time" they say

hey
what will become of my name
a lost library covered in dust
tucked in a dead database

i don't know