Living Nightmare

A person struggles to cope with what's happening outside the safety of their room.

When did I lose track of time? The question clouds my head. I only realize it when I look at the clock by my bedside table marking past midnight. It seemed like the dim sunlight coming through my shutter sealed windows went dark a few moments ago, though the light from the lamps still comes through ever so slightly.

            I take a deep breath and put my hands around my noise cancelling headphones, wishing for the best. I quickly put them back on when I notice the soul crashing noises coming from outside haven’t subsided. How many could there possibly be out there still?

            My body doesn’t move when I tell it to stand up and go to the window, my backside still glued to my bed. Do I really even want to see what’s out there anyway? I’m sure not.

            When will this end? Will it ever end? It’s been too long since I’ve had a peaceful quiet night without the outside crawling with everything that can make my life a living nightmare. I can’t stop considering to just leave, but I’ve done that too many times and it’s always the same; there’s nowhere to run to anymore, this is what my reality will look like for a long time no matter how much I refuse to accept it.

            I close my eyes and clear my head. Letting the dark and quiet swallow me whole for as long as it takes. When I open my eyes again, I notice the window is completely dark; finally, they’re gone.

            I hesitate to take off my headphones, but I eventually do it. I heavily exhale and my lips curve up when I confirm there’s only quiet now.

            My body finally obeys my command to walk to the window. Through the shutters, my eyes struggle to adjust to only the moonlight, but I finally see enough; the backyard is completely destroyed �" again. I sigh.

            Just another party night for the sorority house and another living nightmare for me.