Quake

Without the light of stars and moon

In the darkness I lie awake

Fighting the urge to scream

Hoping the earth will quake

For if the earth will quake

The grounds would surely part

Into the depths I'd fall

Into the fire's heart

For in the fire's heart

Flames are sure to blaze

Lighting this world anew

Lighting through this maze

For if this maze were lit

I could find my way through

I'd search and run through every turn

Until I'd find my way to you

For if I find my way to you

Surely I could wake

I'd find you sleeping next to me

And not wish for the earth to quake

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I like the way you change a bit, yet restate the last line of the stanzas in the first line of the next. It worked well. The images you use feel unique and make the poem interesting.
Perhaps, for the rhythm of it you might consider omitting the "Until" in the last line of the 4th stanza, and possibly rephrasing the last line of the last stanza, removing a few words - such as simply "Not wish the earth to quake." It is a very good write and I hope you take suggestions as merely that.

[Melissa Kester]

Thank you very much for the suggestions. I will definitely consider that next time I write. Very helpful.

[Quinn]

I love this form it really brings out the emotion behind it. The similarity to feelings I myself have had is incredible and the ideas behind it are obviously strong and powerful. Very good write, well done.

[Melissa Kester]

Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. All of my writing is very closely based on my own emotions and circumstances. This was my most recent poem.