A Letter For You

A Poem by Melissa Kester

You told me to be okay.
You told me to let you go.

I didn't want to.
But I thought I could do it.

But I was so wrong.

How many years has it been
Since you said those words?
Longer still, since you last said "I love you"?

How much time has passed since I've heard your voice?
How long has it been since I've seen your face?
How many miles of distance separate us?

Oh, I was so very wrong.
I'm not okay.
Not without you.

I can't let you go.
I just can't.

I've tried. Oh, I've tried so hard.
But you're always there.
Deep in my heart when I need you the most.
Deep in my mind when I struggle the hardest.
You're always there.

I know now that it was my fault.
It was all my fault.
I blamed you every day for so long.
But I was wrong to do so.

I made those mistakes.
And I regret it every day.

God, how I miss you.
Oh, how I love you.

Oh, how I love you.

The pain... never ceases.
It's well deserved, I know.
But it's never ending.

The pain of losing you...
Of never knowing your love again.
It is slowly killing me.
I think one day it will succeed.

I will die a slow death... painfully slow.
All the while missing you.
Loving you.

Maybe in my next life I will find you again.
Maybe I'll have another chance then.
Maybe I won't destroy us then.

Because I know my love for you will last lifetimes.
I know that my soul will defy the cosmos to find you.
Because of how I love you.
How I will love you always. Past the ends of time and existence.
I will still love you.