Masks Undone

Well, this is mostly a procrastination of an English assignment I'm supposed to be working on, but also it's been in my mind for a while. I did, in fact, make it a bit tricky. So ponder ;)

Misconducted lies

Mixed with deviled pride

Hatred spoken tongues

Speech with reveled sin

 

In masks frozen

Cold abyss awoken

Changing their minds

Drowning their faith

 

What one wears they will become

Carnival masks will come undone

Revealing someone that is new

In a body former used

 

What brings life, but death itself?

To balance us, we burn in hell.

Given up for sacrifice?

No need to die to prove a lie.

 

 Taken into perspective we hide a truth

Covered by fear and set excuse

Stories made, a mask of death,

Masks untold, with our last breadth. 

Author's Note

I didn't try grammar in this, meaning I didn't use the time to add commas (mostly) where they needed to go, separating the lines and such, but that shouldn't bother the story. Hopefully. Enjoy and tell me what you think after reading this. Have a cup of coffee over it.

Reviews

[TheDuchessDiary]

I agree with the others. It's quite deep. But I like it. It reminds me of the Phantom of the Opera (speaking of masks) and our town's Masskara Festival. :) Back to the content, the words were powerful and convincing. When I read it, I also came to think of the people around me. *Thumbs up*

[Ella]

A very different poem. I love it. These lines:
"What brings life, but death itself?
To balance us, we burn in hell."
I love, they're beautiful and it does ask a strange question, not something you hear everyday. So amazing :)

[Michael Thrower]

Thanks again! You're so kind.

[Ella]

Haha, you're welcome and it isn't kindness it is my ability to tell the truth :)

[HeIsWe]

very dark, thats one of the many things i love about your writing

[Michael Thrower]

Thank you! Something that makes it seem even more dark is: I didn't realize how dark my writing was until I reread most of it. I don't mean for it to sound depressing :P I'm just a big Lovecraft/Poe fan :)

[afra]

dark and powerful ...great write !

[Michael Thrower]

Thanks Afraaa

[Michael Thrower]

:)

[afra]

No problem

[Chesney W.]

this is a very wonderfully dark, deep poem.... i really liked this.

[Michael Thrower]

Thank you very much!

[Chesney W.]

you are so very welcome!

[Crazy Cat Man]

you are a true poety. u are definately studying your craft. great job

[Michael Thrower]

Thanks so much, that's really inspired me to write more poetry. I never considered myself a poet. I like reading some poetry, and writing is always fun (Mostly to mess around with). Thanks again!

[under-the-water]

i can never end up writing dark poems - like when ever i try it sounds really stupid
but i think its the prettiest kind of writing there is
and let me just tell you that this poem was friggen amazing
i am actually so jealous
everything flowed perfectly
no awkward jolts or anything
it was beautiful.
nice job bro :)

[Michael Thrower]

Lol, well thank you very much! That has made my night.

[under-the-water]

no problem babe

[Lost in Wonderland]

This was very dark but held a good message. No one can keep up the illusion of perfection forever, the darkness inside will be brought to light sooner or later, bringing some to their demise. Really great poem with nice figurative language:) Well done Michael!
God Bless
~Mickey

[Michael Thrower]

Thank you so much :D I was worried this would trip everyone up.

[Lost in Wonderland]

So I wasn't to far off from the message? :D Success! :P No problem, I really liked it:)