The Regret

My son...
I'm a few moments away from eternal bliss with your mother.
My hand shivers as I try my best to pen down this letter.
My heart is sore, embittered, and I weep for my mistakes, 
But know that I’ve always loved you, and will till the end of days.

But with tears in my eyes, I reminisce about the past, 
about how the African in me overlaid love with discipline;

Truth with scorn; and as such, hurt your heart.

I pushed you away, believing you'd find such ephemeral love in your mother’s arms, 
but I thought I’d die first too;

I never thought I’d have to live two decades and more without her charms;

Without staring into her eyes; pupils ever so blue.

After every scold, I’d sneak out of bed to watch you sleep, 
A tear always fell...but then the next day, I was back to being me.

The me, who rarely saw any good in your silly, little pranks; 
The me, who answered with grunts to your very sincere thanks; 
The me, who rebuked you over silly eating habits at dinner; 
That was the me I was,

Until I watched what little affections you had for me wither.

Then I was struck with an earth-shaking truth, 
I was a prodigal father, to a son that was you.

I repented of my mistreatment,

But I was too scared to build a bridge across, 
that’s why the first three letters where never sent,

Because I shivered as regrets clouded my thoughts.

But now I’m about to die...and I really wish to see your face, 
you’re now a dad too, I know.

But you're still my son, in any day.
I love you.

And I hope this gets to you before I breathe my last.
Or else...your mother won't forgive me.

Cause even on the other side,

I certain she would still be as blunt as brass.

...son the pain in my chest is heating up, 
please come.

I wish you all the best with my....my lo--

Author's Note

The last epistle of the letters from a father to his estrange son. Any thoughts, opinions, criticism, comments?

Reviews

[Alexzandera]

I think this is beautiful. Definitely appeals to your readers' emotions! Well done.

[Abioduun]

Full of wisdom, it brought me to tears. I can relate to this.

[Mifa]

Again, thanks for reading.

[T. Edana Talbott]

I bow down to you - it brought tears to my eyes. That unfinished line was like a punch to an already aching gut. How sad it is, that we often times realize what's important when it's far too late.

[Mifa]

Indeed very sad. Again, your comments are really appreciated. Sorry about the tears. I sure hope you read it while on PJs and in bed, else I'd feel bad if you had makeup on and it caused a smear.

Again, thanks Edana.

[Alice Poésy]

I finally had the chance to read this last one and my god, the wisdom I find here is mindblowing, as if it truly were written by a man who has lived for several decades.

I had a tear in my eye as the father realised all the moments he missed and all the time he scorned. There are moments in our lives when we unfortunately realise too late and when there is nothing that can be done. And the moment is filled with so much regret and pain, but the only thing we have to do then is let go.

I've read a lot of your work, but this collection of letters in particular is where you've shone the brightest, in my opinion. It had me thinking, relating, and at a loss for words. You have a certain knack for these particular themes and topics. I can honestly see this stretching into a full length novel, and it would be a stunning one that I'd pre-order in 2 seconds. Don't stop writing, Mifa. This was beyond extraordinary.

[Mifa]

Your kind words have honestly brought a tear to my eyes. I am very grateful that you were able to take out time to read and the minute I turn it into a novel of some sort, rest assured you'd be the first to know. Thanks a whole lot once again. Really sorry this reply is coming so late. Hope to make out time to return the favor and read some of your recent works, Alice. God bless.