Paralyzed in Cold Sheets

It was just a moment ... but it felt like ages...!

Paralyzed in Cold Sheets

She closes her eyes, hoping to see anything except his face. She can feel his heavy weight upon her like a burden. She pushes him, as a last desperate attempt to see if he will feel her … but it’s all in vain.

 

They are united in the closest way that could ever bring two bodies together … yet, each one of them remained in his own world. Souls apart, their hearts are so distant in her eyes. She shuts her eyes even harder as if that would prevent her from feeling anything anymore… but disgust saturates her. She lowers her arms on the bed, which seemed cold with her sadness, finally admitting that she no longer has the power to resist him. Yet, he doesn’t seem to care less to look for the arms of his wife to hold him.   

 

She had her eyes fixed upon him but her repulsion grew more intense that she could no longer see him … he was another man. She turned her head staring at the naked wall of her bedroom, and watched it narrowing more and more to end up enclosing on her lungs. The rest of her body seemed paralyzed and numb, exactly like her thoughts.     

 

He was soon done, and as usual didn’t take much time, but this moment just seemed so long and infinite with the torture of her moaning soul. He gets up to take his shower while she remains dead in the coldness of her bed sheets … she covers her nude body not to see the traces of this humiliating and degrading act. He says that he had made love to her. But she says that he had just proven her his hate.  

Mira

 

Author's Note

It's supposed to be one reflection ... but I seriously might add it to my book, that would be called pages from a Woman's Diary

Reviews

[Frontier]

Truly a sad event, and you capture it quite well.

"They are united in the closest way that could ever bring two bodies together … yet, each one of them remained in his own world. " - good line
Sometimes the acts that should be most loving end up being selfish.

[Mira ThePoetess]

Thank you Frontier ... you sure are right

[jessy123]

this is great work, I loved it from beginning to end.

[Edmond Mashao]

Nice piece of writing...I like it

[Ambra Celeste]

I like this work, a violation hidden behind the terms 'relationship and marriage', as disturbing as if he was a stranger in the street but too often not considered as bad...fools' believes.

[Mira ThePoetess]

exactly you said it all ........ Ambra

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem told a sad story. Sometime we forget what made two people fall together. When sex is just a release. Poor woman will lose drove and interest. Hard to maintain wildness and energy in the bedroom. I believe most people fail in marriage when they forget. There number two need fulfillment also. A powerful story with a lesson. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Mira ThePoetess]

thank you for your rich review my friend as always a very good one .. thanks

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Saddam]

excellent write dear. Sad but awesome write.

[Mira ThePoetess]

thank you my friend ...

[lissalovesyou]

"He says that he had made love to her. But she says that he had just proven her his hate."
Sad but probably true reflection.
Great job!
lissalovesyou:)
xXellency

[Mira ThePoetess]

Thank you Lisalovesyou ...... :D

[MagicAl]

Love this.. such a sad but true reflection if and when one finds themselves in a situation like this. "made love to her...proven her his hate" - really love this quote since it shows how differently two people can view the same act. Really good write.

[Mira ThePoetess]

Thank you MagicAl .. appreciate it my friend .. true .. many acts are taken for granted to provide certain feelings and one thinks that sure his/her partner feels a certain way while it's totally the opposite or far from the truth ... thank you dear ..

[Justin Powell]

Amazing piece! You brought me into that moment. As a male it is always enlightening to see through the eyes of the opposite sex in an act that involves both genders. If I were to make any suggestions it would be to maybe avoid starting so many sentences with the word "she" and "he." For such a short piece you start sentences with those words ten times. Maybe consider this an opportunity reveal more character or description by opening some of those sentences with a metaphor or variation on those two words.

This is a great piece. I give it a rating somewhere in the 90's.

Courtesy of the Constructive Critics

[Mira ThePoetess]

Thank you Justin for your review it sure did help me a lot .. the point is it wasn't really meant to be a short story, but just a reflection .. and the use of she and he was typically to show anonymous characters with no names ... but you're right I could use other words to serve the same purpose.. thank you again.

[Art Sun]

so sad....there is so much emotional sadness to this piece, even though your thoughts are of moments, one can see how this could be a lifetime of repetition...

[Mira ThePoetess]

Exactly Art ... you got the point .... thank you for reading my friend