Indecision

I've lost myself
I don't know how I feel
I don't want to know
I feel it'll fall apart
I don't want to leave
I don't want to stay
A ridiculous contradiction
How could I expect you to understand
I feel an invisible chain
Maybe my own creation
Stemmed from the feeling
Of wanting to be free
I don't have the strength to be weak
There's a distance in standing
I don't know how to lean
I want to sever the connection
There is no break that's clean
Someone will fall
I'd rather it be me
I'll wait for the day
Until then
I'll be