The Other Side of This

Really short poem, but a lot of emotion.

The feeling that
You are mine to win
Is supplemented by
The feeling I'll have
When I lose you.

Reviews

[J. Elsie]

So everyone loves it and I do too, but I'll make suggestion (and probably get lynched by your mob of fans, here. smile) I think "The" at the beginning makes the feeling feel less possessive. I think you're better served by the word "This" which implies the feeling belongs to you and you're experiencing it now.

Otherwise, I agree with everyone. Its tight. Its sharp. Its true. Good write.

[Coffee Vampier]

Wow... its so true... :/

[Saraplenty]

This literally stopped my breathing for a moment; like I had taken a punch to the chest. Very powerful piece here. And I agree that changing "the" to "this" would make it more yours.

[gen]

woooohhhh,,,, short but meaningful,,,,,,

[Annelise]

I really like this. Very short, yet fatalistic. I think many people have felt this way at some point or another. It didn't need to be longer it said all it needed to say.

[c.m.]

I completely agree with you, yourself have said about it. Short, but very emotional. It almost tells a story in five lines....poets dream of this. Nice work.

[theunionisloud]

I love the contrast-- the cut-throat tone the first two lines, followed by helplessness. Simple and... dare I say, perfect.

[No use.]

This is like an emotional equation , blame it on you having a mother who is a mathematician, love and loathe lol

[EverydayPoet]

simple, elegant...briliiant

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Conflicting feeling and ambivalent emotions about making it or not making it.Interesting work..Glad that I stopped by..Thanks for your kind comments on my work..Sunflower