Hospice

Morbid much?

The windowless room;
The end is near, we're told.
Days are not days,
And nights are not nights,
And time is not time
For the sun is blind
Beyond the stone walls,
And invisible, therefore
Invisible to me too
Is time! And now
There is no dark,
There is no light,
There is just a candle
Glowing endlessly,
Withholding a snuff
By dancing feverishly
Against a gray backdrop.

Author's Note

Just wrote this, could probably be re-worked.

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

your descriptive prowess here through composition is vivid and penetrating~ the word choices strung together in this particular pattern elicit a response on all sensate levels~ where the words create not just visuals but sounds and scents around the aura of the content~

[.]

haunting in it's poignancy

[theunionisloud]

I don't see anything that needs to be re-worked! Loved the last few lines. Great piece!!

[shedevil]

i actually really liked this piece i thought ur use of lanuage was wonderful

[William Maisonave]

as always you've done well

[Joiedevivre]

You have captured the feeling of a hospice so well. And thats a hard thing to do! The candle dancing like a soul still trying to hold on... Wonderful.

[OT]

ahh very nice - I, like Liza read the title again after and it gives it another interpretation which i always like - a poem many will relate to - that flickering candle in the windowless room! nice!

[Liza]

i read the piece without thinking of the title...that's why i didn't see it from a "hospital" point of view

[Liza]

interesting - it has a feel of being boxed in; in our ignorance - in bliss of stillness - without judgement - and hope

[Celeste21]

A dark piece that you portrayed very well. Somber but truthful. The melody of any hospital is a very sad tune.