An Unintentional Invention

A trail of ponds

behinds us.

Nothing comes to mind.

Yet nothing is something,

is it not?

Something unrefined?

Still, from nothing

comes something -

so are they the same?

Does nothing just wait for something to hit play?

Are we unintentional invention,

of inventors embarks?

A trail of ponds

behind us.

Which ones did we start?

Reviews

[Luisa]

I like this one, but for me the part about "hit play" isn't quite fitting. On one hand I like the juxtaposition of the nature imagery and the abstract diction contrasted with the idea of something as mundane/modern as "hitting play," but I feel like if you played more with the contrast it would be stronger. There's a lot you could do with this subject matter and this feels a bit underdeveloped only because I think you could go further with it.

That all came out negative, but I like it a lot, actually. The toying around with nothing/something is a common poetic theme, but I like how you're direct about it. I really like the trail of ponds image, and the ending is very thought provoking. I'd just like to see more middle!

[RFDIII]

Yes, I wrote this when I took the journal to the park. I tried fiddling with it a little, but I can't seem to get it to stick. The more I fiddle, the more bolts fall out! I'll try padding it out, maybe I can bend some words.

[Luisa]

Try duct tape!

[Mariam]

I would like to know the answers to those questions) very nice