Sticky Note #1

Why does  wind sooth our wounds?

And why'd the sun expose us?

In silent times our kind knelt

pon hollowed ground, marked by ash

to bare no mark

of life.

Hiding. Hunting. Healing
 by extruding demons

on all friends and not all foes

til darkened lines began to show

diffusing into night.

Author's Note

Just one of my many lost poems.

Reviews

[Matching Socks]

Just a lost poem. :)
I'm looking for the meaning in this one.
Help me?

[RFDIII]

Our nature is in darkness just as much as it is in light. This is simply an affirmation of that fact, that we were raised out of it. Darkness kept us alive for thousands of years before we started our agricultural. That's what the first stanza represents. Wind spreads seeds and sun grows crops.

This is about a yearning to return to those blackened nights, because I am no farmer.

[Matching Socks]

But you need the sun. Vitamin D. Plus it puts a bounce in your step. *bounce*
:-D

[RFDIII]

Yes well I'm sure I'll write a poem about that too one day!

[Matching Socks]

I can't wait! RR it to me!

[Luisa]

I like the way you play with the more concrete elements of writing – word choice, tenses, grammar, line breaks, that sort of thing. I don't know if you do it intentionally, but you have a tendency to use a lot of words that have homophones, and often use a spelling that doesn't mean quite what it seems like you're saying -- "hollowed" ground, "bare" no mark, that sort of thing -- but I think it lends something else to the poem. I love that wordplay, intentional or not.

It sounds to me like a memory of hunter-gatherer times, and reminds me of the pagan gods somehow. My only criticism is that the tone shift from the chant-like, religious first two stanzas to the fearful, darker third could be more gradual. I think another stanza between the second and third could introduce the elements of fear and darkness more gradually into the poem. But that's just a personal preference.

I really like this one. I've seen a couple of your poems lying in your room, but not this one. It's unusually refined for a post-it note poem. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the logic and the flow of the poem.
"In silent times our kind knelt
pon hollowed ground, marked by ash
to bare no mark
of life."
I like poetry that make me ponder things. Your words always do. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote