can't let go

again , after breaking up with him .. couldn't move on , because i didn't just lose a bf or a lover ,i lost my best friend :(

I don't know why I feel that something is holding me back
I want to leave and forget about you but deep down I know that I can't
What am I afraid of? A heart break! ?
Well, been there, done that
It'll hurt that's a fact
But I have my friends by my side when I need them to be 
And for sure time will heal me 
So ... why can't I let go? 
I'm deeply in love with you, I know
But ...what if you're not the one? 
What if our relationship is just for fun? 
What will I do, then? After all these years with you 
How would my life get? After all we have been through 
Too many hopes and promises ... What if they're not true! ?
Damn! 
You know, I'm good when I'm away but my heart isn't
That's what keeps me hanged
I always write you a text but I never hit "send"
People see me, hear me, think I'm foolish and dumb
So, 
I pretend, fake my strength
But when it comes to you, I'm all weak with no defense
I'm not even brave enough to just "imagine" losing you
I Can't let go, I can never do
# What really holds me back is our past together, our memories and our promises too : " never let each other go no matter what, 
No matter how cruel was the fight" 
And like you say "forever together and never apart"

01/14/2018