Lost

I had a dream about my past. A relationship that never happened and this poem came about.

To that dream,
becoming what's lost
Where there's an ending,
to that's which cost

A path so fine almost a trickle
Nothing devine very fickle

Meant without him,
that which is done
In the end it is me,
without one
Something I admit is forgotten

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
Interesting write.. Feels like it needs more my dear friend...
You seem to try and add rhyme but I suggest that either you do more or leave the one here out...
I only say this because I remember you saying you are new and would appreciate the help...

To that dream becoming
What's lost
Where there's an ending to
that's which cost

A path so fine almost a trickle
Nothing devine very fickle feels like this is not a complete line...
Perhaps....
Our path is but a trickle
Feeling always so fickle

Meant without him Not sure what you mean by this ?
That which is done
In the end it is me without one I like this line
Something I admit is forgotten

Take your lines one by one and work on them moving your words around...
Lisasview

[Kady R.]

Lisa this helps me sooooo much!!! Thanks for your suggestions!! I'll work on it.

Meant without him
Means the relationship never worked out.

[Lisasview]

Yes but let your reader know..

[Kady R.]

Got it. I'll work on it. 🤗🤗🤗

[Lisasview]

I think my poem Innocence is third down my list... I just added a new poem Journey

[Kady R.]

I think I reviewed innocence. It's very heartfelt.

[Kady R.]

I was thinking about it. I'm gonna leave it the way it is because it was a dream I had and I was purposely trying to make the poem as abstract as the dream. (To where it doesn't make sense) But I totally forgot that when you send your review.

[Lisasview]

Okay it is up to you... Just wanted to be helpful...if I could...
Lisa

[Lisasview]

I have learned that it is okay to change my petry around... At first it is hard to give up what you think is good but that is the only way to grow as a poet.

[Kady R.]

Thanks Lisa I really appreciate it. 🤗🤗🤗

[Ayesha Faiz]

True. In order to chase our dreams which have been lost, we have to pay a price for it because it's the irony of life... In order to gain something, — something of equal value must be lost. This poem is nice and simple. Keep up the good word Kady!

[Kady R.]

Thanks again Ayesha!! 🤗🤗🤗

[Ayesha Faiz]

My pleasure :)