I Can't Deal

And I hate whats become of this, This life that I live, When it's so hard to recognize the trouble I'm in, When the excuses that flow, Right out of my mouth, Are scathing and loathing, And so easy to doubt. And they hold up a mirror, That shows me my fat

I Can't Deal

 

Every night since you've left

I've noticed one thing

It gets harder to sleep

With you haunting my dreams

 

And there so f*****g vivid

I have to take a deep breath

And remind myself quietly

That you've really left

 

When I close my eyes at night

And your suddenly there

And I know when they open

I'll be alone with my tears

 

And I hate the shot through my heart

And the panic in my brain

When I see the image of you face

Slowly start to fade

 

And I slam my eyes close

Trying to draw this out longer

While the pain in my heart

Grows all that much stronger

 

And I think I'm going crazy

Cuz everything seems so real

I'm not sure if they've noticed

That I can't really deal

 

And I'm trying my best

But it could never be enough

And it feels so wrong

That I miss you this much

 

And I hate whats become of this

This life that I live

When it's so hard to recognize

The trouble I'm in

 

When the excuses the flow

Right out of my mouth

Are scathing and loathing

And so easy to doubt

 

And they hold up a mirror

That shows me my fate

The dark circles and red eyes

That cover my face

 

The denial and anger

That rage underneath

The screams and fears

From the cage of the beast

 

When the tears stain my pillow

From the spot were I lay

And I'm reminded again

What happened that day

 

I'm not the same person

I was before this

And your smile will always

Be something I'll miss

 

When I'm drunk I'm numb

I can't feel a thing

I can't think of your face

Or the trouble it brings

 

If I swallow this pill I won't care

Of the events of my past

And I wouldn't hug your picture

So close to my chest

 

All these self medications

Don't help that much

When the problem is

That I just miss your touch

 

This sure can't be healthy

I know for a fact

That if I keep up this way

I might never come back

 

And I hope your not mad

But I have to learn to let go

If I'm ever to be normal

That much I know