A star is born

In the bitter cold I found a bit of warmth

In eyes of green and sugar fields

In the bitter heat I found a bit of cold

In the eyes of green and drowning dreams

Inside I died a thousand times

To live along my eternal recurrence

I tried and tried a thousand times

With open arms of delicate transference

Round and round I spin again

With lifeless eyes and dizzy head

I grasp for fragments of a smile

From this time on and evermore

Redemption gives new life

To a once dark lifeless star

 

Reviews

[RHEA CROSLEY]

"bit of warmth" "bit of cold" less then green eyes greater than sugarfields+drowning dreams. Break then
~recurrence=death=spin cycle less than fragements of smile less than redemption. I had to break it down with a formula. I hope this is ok I had to disect it to find its core. It is sad that all that is left are the "fragments of a smile" before this tragic loss there was so much more. But hope is not lost because of redemption. This was a fun complex writing. Very clever twists. Thanks for the ride.

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

hmmmmm, i like the poem quite well, but i fail to see how the title fits the rest. great work anyway.

[The Tao of Bri]

I grasp for fragments of a smile

From this time on and evermore

Redemption gives new life

To a once dark lifeless star

BEAUTIFUL LIBERATION!

[Beka]

Beautiful.
I love it.

Round and round I spin again

With lifeless eyes and dizzy head

Absolutely wonderful.

[BriAnna Wyble]

love this,


very inspiring

great write

:]

[Dani California]

Once again....
You have taken words and manipulated them brilliantly into something inspiring.

I grasp for fragments of a smile
From this time on and evermore
Redemption gives new life
To a once dark lifeless star

You are the cream in coffee, the sugar in kool-aid, the egg in nog ..... the light in darkness! Love your work ML! LOVE IT!!

Peace, Dani