Comatose

I’ll sleep another hundred miles

Then I’ll sleep one hundred more

I’ll sleep until someone can give

This cursed man a cure

 

I used to drive one thousand miles

While perched behind the wheel

That’s when I offered everything

That someone else would steal

 

Now I sleep until the winds

Of peace embrace my day

I fear the winds will never come

And in my sleep I’ll stay

Reviews

[Dani California]

Excellent rhythm and rhyme here ML...

Now I sleep until the winds
Of peace embrace my day
I fear the winds will never come
And in my sleep I'll stay

This is my favorite stanza because I relate to it so well. Sleeping the pain of reality away... been there done that. Escape.

You've expressed it well, once again my friend. I just hope it isn't your current mindset.. as I wish you the happiness you deserve!

Great work!

[shadadakiya]

for ever and a day~~~lovw it

[Beka]

You aren't living your life. You did once. But it all turned into something that you didn't want. Someone took everything good that you gave them, the best of you, and threw it back in your face. You're waiting on someone who is worthy of your best but you're afraid that person may never come and you will never be able to get back on with your life. A sad poem to be sure, but laced with such deep pain from life experence. A lovely flow of just the right words. Once again you have put to words emotions that most can not do themselves.

[Belinda Rice]

Wow this is great I am really happy to see you keep on writing you are a good writer and this is just so heartfelt but pleasant..Koodos to you

[Butterflymom]

Interesting, and well layered. It also could have been titled 'Apathy' !

[LadyLove]

Regret and fear; Yet at the same time a touch of hopefulness that maybe the right wind, the right reason to drive a thousand miles will come again. But you will sleep instead thinking it might never come. Still have to have that hope and maybe drive a little and let the winds blow you to the right place. Just watch out for hitchhikers! Take care.

[justjenn_2u]

Sleeping seems to be a remedy in alleviating having to think about some things in life. Man, I know how this feels! I see how you gave someone so much of yourself and she took you for granted, leaving you with (what feels to be) - nothing. So sad to see that you have nothing left to give. The winds of change - bringing peace will eventually blow on you, but only at God's timing. I can tell you are hanging on tight and I still see strength in your words.

I liked this poem. It was shorter than most of your work, but you express yourself well here (as usual). Even though the poem has a pessimistic side to it, you follow through with optimism. Optimism in waiting for that wind of peace to blow on you.

[octane143]

Wow my friend, you never disappoint! Sometimes it does seem as there is no hope, but there is ALWAYS hope!
Now I sleep until the winds

Of peace embrace my day

I fear the winds will never come

And in my sleep I'll stay

very powerful poem hun! Every morning when you wake though you can always start over!

[The Tao of Bri]

So true so true.. I am waitig for a rebirth as well.. I wish I could just sleep away until then..but I guess when I am on my death bed I will wish for those moments wished away...but when life is just exisiting...they are much worht it anyhow.. great poem with profound emotion.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Mr Lopez, cheers. your poems are always so crisp and clear. And this one is no exception. I loved the flow, and the common sense idea that
Now I sleep until the winds

Of peace embrace my day

I fear the winds will never come

And in my sleep I'll stay

thanks for sharing.

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

Wow great write!!!

"I used to drive one thousand miles
While perched behind the wheel
That's when I offered everything
That someone else would steal"

Love it!!