The Long Road Home

So I wrote this as a song that makes a cameo in my book, Unsung Heroes, but I need help with it.

All men walk the long road home:

For all deeds good and villainies bad

Moments of mirth and sorrows sad,

Are but a march we take alone

Along the path, the long road home.

Author's Note

I need a rhyming substitute for the words "bad" and "sad." They're just not working. Especially "villanies bad" is just not doing it for me. Since it's supposed to be a song, I need to try to keep the meter/syllable count of the phrase about the same too. Any suggestions for how to fix this?

Reviews

[Belle]

Even warrior returns home, eventually.
Good little poem, Bradley.
About the cadence, you may take Landred's suggestion if I were you my friend, he is a minstrel from Ancient Greece...

[JR Darewood]

haha, I'll keep that in mind!
For now I think I'm trying out:
villanies vile... sorrows dire...
we'll see if i decide to stick with it.

[KAin]

A suggestion. Instead of "For all deeds good and villainies bad," how about

"For all deeds fair and villainies fell."

"Fell" would be a good substitute for bad or evil particularly in the setting of your story. For the next line.
"When we falter and when we excel." although that takes it off the metre by one syllable... Unless you don't mind removing "and" from that line. Anyway, i hope that helps a little. It's been awhile, friend. Nice work!

[JR Darewood]

Thanks man! I'm still in the jungle so it's hard to find the time (and internet access) to get on.

[Emily B]

no suggestions off-hand, it will be nice when you finish carving it

[JR Darewood]

Thanks Emily!