No one else knows

There's a twisted feeling that no one else knows

The horror of love

The terror of calm

It's putrid and sweet

the decay you taste while everyone else smiles

the pity you feel in the joy of a cockfight

the pang you feel when your friend is a murderer

and your cruel nemesis a beloved saint 

the rest of the world revels in their facile fairytale

where there is good and there is bad

where the only side is theirs

but you feel the world from both sides

your soul contorted 

broken

snapped

walking quietly among those of us who are whole

"I'll feel it," you say,

"so that you don't have to."