Trouser problems

A long time ago in a land far away

A pair of scruffy trousers came to stay

With holes in the knees and a split in the crotch

Where the zip was removed and stuffed in a sock

A stain in the centre from the cream out the pipe

A brown patch was smelling so very much ripe 

Never been cleaned these poor trouser legs

And you should have seen his friends called the kegs

Now trousers were made to withstand such a force

Even the parsnip deserves a divorce

As the smell wasn't good when sausage shot out his load

And his sprouts were as wrinkly as a wrinkly old toad