With a Whimper

In the chaos
of ice and glass and gin
I saw your face transfigured---
not into what you seem
(the hero in your head you love to seem)
but what you know yourself
in your debauched and deformed heart to be.
And as I watched your eyes
turn wasted, overripe,
all love and pity
and gorgeous hate
petered out
into agonizing, lukewarm
dislike.