Falling Deeper Into You

Falling faster, ever deep,

within your heart, I wish to sleep.

Where souls reflect in quiet kind,

two hearts, two minds, alike, aligned.

A haven built by steady pace,

I'm grounded here within this place,

as if we’ve crossed a thousand lands,

and you were written in my hands.

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Greetings, Dear Poetess 🙏

Perfection is a jaded word, but oh so fitting in describing this virtual little masterpiece of poetic excellence.

Title, grammar, ambiance, metaphor, imagery, tempo, spot-on rhymes, and smoothly syntactic flow, woven together tick all the boxes that enthral an olde bard's romantically rendered pleasures.

Techy nits:
1. "A haven built by a steady pace," (to eliminate the repeat and improve flow, omit the 2nd "a")
2. S2-L2: (edit "I am" to "I'm" for more even meter and smoother flow.
2. Penultimate line, (omit the rogue "I").

I love it all, especially this stanza:

"A haven built by steady pace,
I'm grounded here within this place,
as if we’ve crossed a thousand lands,
and you were written in my hands."

Simply beautiful — grammatical skills so very rare these contemporary days.
You're truly an artist to envy … thank you sincerely for sharing! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Mysilentembrace]

Actually, absolutely all of that makes this flow and move better. Thank you so much for your edits and suggestions!!!! I didn't even recognize the rogue I so that was embarrassing lol.

[Richard🖌]

HAH! 🙄

You oughta see everything I miss … it may take me half a dozen tries before I've ironed out all the wrinkles in a poem.
Even then, I might still be editing it years later — as my skills improved.

So, don't be embarrassed … I've been there, done that! 🤓