Fade 2 Black

Most of what I'd write was full of pain and feelings of unworthiness. . . this is one of them.

I have kicked,
I have scraped,
I have clawed my way
out of the darkness of the void
I was born into...

 

I have campaigned,
I have sustained,
I have maintained
a positive course and speed.

 

But still;
Yet still;
And still,
my best is not quite good enough...

 

For it was Misery who fathered me
and Despair was my mother,
Abandon is my sister
and I have not a brother.

 

How can I push forward,
how do I go on,
how do I keep hoping
when the hope that was in me,
is finally gone?

 

I’ve tried so hard to be positive,
I’ve smiled despite my pain;
But my light is diminishing,
and I can no longer maintain.

 

Darkness is here,
its scent’s in the air,
but I’m so tired of running,
I do not despair.
Its cold fingers grip me,
I cannot resist;
The friends I’ve made I’ll remember,
and your own light I’ll miss;
But the soothing cold of darkness,
I can no longer resist.

 

So this will be my last pen,
my heart’s lost its will,
my voice will be silent,
my heart’s beating is still.

 

I remember the good times,
but I will not be back,
my life is over,
I’m fading to black.

 

“The good times outweigh the bad”,
but for me it’s not true,
I have enough stored misery
for me and for you.

 

I see my own ending
though I scream and I shout,
I’ve fought to stay out of the darkness,
but now my light has gone out.

 

I can’t be what I’m not
and that’s saying a lot,
a pauper can’t be prince,
a leopard has permanent spots.

 

I’ve lived my whole life,
running from ghosts,
but now it’s time I stopped running
and face what I fear most.

 

I’ll miss where I’ve been,
but I will not be back,
don’t follow or try to find me,

 

I’m fading to black.

 

By: Nathaniel A. Booker, Sr
“Genius under Construction”

© Nathaniel Booker

Reviews

[LilyGrace]

Ah I'm sure you've got the idea by now, but I love this one too... Your tone is spectacularly versatile!
LGD