Scarred

The horseshoe on my inner thigh,
Reminds me that nothing's changed.
The burnmark on my forearm is the roadmap of my pain.

 

The rip across my shoulder hurts more at 37 than it did at 7.
A reminder to me that seven's unlucky, and for me, so was eleven...

 

Scarred

 

Oatmeal I will never eat, I'm even haunted by its scent,
As punishments had me eating it raw, that's how my childhood went.

 

Someone came and asked me,
'Why can't you just let go? '
I tried that once, I swear I did,
But the more I try, the more it shows...

 

Scarred

 

I had a full prescription,
And misery in my heart.
I took each and every single pill,
So from life's pain I could depart.

 

But the blessing of death elluded me,
The curse of life would persist;
It held more suffering for me to endure,
And I was powerless to resist.

 

Scarred

 

Months confined inside a room,
Not much bigger than a cell;
No more beatings or bruises or profanities,
But still a walk through hell.

 

Life is rough for a foster child,
And even harder when the Foster's family.
I prayed to God but he never answered my prayers,
Either that or he refused to save me.

 

... (And even though I'm grown now) ...

 

At night I wake up weeping,
As my pains live in my dreams.
I wake up in a sweat with the sheets soaked wet,
When will I be redeemed?

 

From the pain and from the trauma,
The internal bleeding reminders;
The endless fear of those haunted years, that constantly reappear.

 

The caterpillar coccooned,
But when the butterfly emerged...
It was battered and broken, bruised and charred,
Like me, it too...

 

Is scarred

 

By: Nathaniel A. Booker, Sr.
'Genius under Construction'

© Nathaniel Booker