Not A One Night Stand

Memorize this address, because it won't just be a one night stand.

Dance with me, my darling girl.

Give this lass a little twirl.

Watch my cotton skirt unfurl

Beneath your hands.

 

In a moonlight silk we dress,

Nothing else when bodies press.

Memorize just this address.

It’s not a one night stand.

 

Morning’s hazy, still we sleep--

Arms and legs spread in a heap.

Bites and bruises I hope will keep.

Fingers fit like wedding bands.

 

Eyes are open, blushes flower.

Confident smirks lose their power.

Stuttering lips in the daylight hour.

Time falls like sand.

 

Work in ten, I watch you go.

Fate will bring you back, I know.

A note I found a while ago.

Numbers written by your hand.

Author's Note

Another poem. A one night stand where the narrator believes it will definitely turn into something more.

Reviews

[misha]

This was a great write. Keep it up!

[C. Rose]

Dance with my, should be Dance with me
Liked: "unfurl", last line, concept, middle stanza.
Well done.
How refreshing that you didn't resort to vulgarity.

[N.Sevilla]

Woops, thanks for catching that misspelling! I'm glad you enjoyed it

[WritersRankings]

This poem has a silky tenderness that shows your raw poetic talent. In retrospect, this poem should have ranked higher. It's constructed on a higher order than most of the poems here.

I think writing love poems suits your mind, don't you feel?

[N.Sevilla]

I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[Persona]

Very pretty and sweet. In the author's note when you say 'believes' does that mean it won't be something more? I love the rhythm of the poem and the tone. Don't worry about rhyming when you do poems though. Heap isn't the word you're looking for. Maybe try 'Arms and legs overlapping, intertwined as one' that kind of thing. 'Fingers fit like wedding bands.' I understand what you were going for but it doesn't make sense as an image. Maybe something along the lines of 'fingers match like matching wedding bands''?

[N.Sevilla]

"believes" is more like...we can't be as certain as the narrator is, but it's a definite possibility. I'll see what I can do about the arms and legs in a heap line, and I might change the other line, but it's important that it stays similar. What I was going for is that I wanted to show how well their fingers fit together just like wedding bands fit on fingers. Using wedding bands in the imagery to express how serious the narrator is about this person. Thank you very much for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[kylie giamba]

honestly in love with this!

[N.Sevilla]

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!