Bipolar

When I go through my "phase" there are 4 stages: Talking nonsense, romantic, uncontrollable twitching, and emotional numb. This describes my process throughout the whole phase.

Dream like state.

What is real?

Babbling noises.

What's that?

My own.

A quivering hand

Spreads like a ripple

To arms and legs

And everything in between.

Shush.

Don't speak.

Speech is trouble.

Pounding heart.

Love?

Lust?

Doesn't matter.

Let it out.

Was I attracted to her?

I am now.

Tell her, tell her!

Let it out.

Beautiful Lady.

Oh wonderous Lady!

An accent?

From where?

A figment of mine.

Shaking.

Twitch!

Banged my leg,

So giggle now.

It's funny.

It hurts.

But it's funny!

Oh look!

A girl.

Beautiful. Stunning.

A secret love.

Tell her?

What's to lose?

Okay!

Beautiful, gorgeous.

My love for you flows.

Strong currents move me.

She says...?

Wait, no.

Control, control.

Have control. 

Leave now!

But you love her...

She doesn't need to know now!

Shake. Stop.

Twitch. Stop.

A rat dying from poison.

Dead.

So silent the night covers me,

Like a suffocating blanket.

My limbs, exhausted, are motionless.

Where is the love I had not long ago?

Through it seemed ages...

Unfeeling. I can feel nothing in my heart.

Sleep is welcome to come and close my eyes for me.

Unfeeling on the inside.

A stone cold statue to live again at dawn.

Reviews

[J Todd Underhill]

good imagery, but I picked this because I am afflicted with Bipolar disorder, and this was not what I was expecting. In a good way really. Well written.

[Aaron M. Anderson]

Wow! You use some amazing imagery here to reflect the back-and-forth feelings your narrator is experiencing. I like how you end the poem at night--it tells the reader that this is a daily struggle. This is a great poem with a lot of difficult feelings attached to it. You executed it well.