I Am Lost

The Untold Story Affected Me So Much That I Had To Write, i Can Not Tell But I Can Express

I am lost. Can anyone imagine how love can turn a life upside down? The untold story lies within the broken heart. The one that changed everything. That captured my inner self and unleashed my dark side. It took over me . I want the unwanted, it haunts me every time i close my eyes i see it, i see every bit of it coming true beyond my eyes. The sparkle, the heart beat race, the person i become gradually every time i face the undeniable truth of the forever untold story. And oh my , how will i ever escape this now, the slave I've become to this beautiful nightmare that never fades away, how could it fade away with the presence of contact fantasy? The dark fairytale becomes true with each look, I've become the queen of this tale and forever bonded to this royal darkness. Will i ever be freed?

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

The Untold Story Affected Me So Much That I Had To Write, i Can Not Tell But I Can Express

I've read the paragraph you posted. The line I've pasted above refers to an untold story and it seems to say that this story can't be told (a secret?) but it can be expressed. So the paragraph is an implied secret or version of a secret or hints at a secret. Or maybe not, but that implication is what writing is all about -
the willingness to try to communicate something that may not be translatable. So thanks for posting.

I wonder if you have tried saying everything you said in the first person voice of that paragraph in third person? Putting some distance between the writer and the narrator. Turning the "I" of first person into the "he or she" of third person point of view. I wonder if it would affect the secret or the attitude about the secret?

Thanks again

[Nada Khaled]

Thank you for review, but actually none. The untold story is just personal experience that i dont want to mention, so i summed up all i was thinking of and wrote it, i had to say this line or otherwise it will be completely mysterious to the readers and they won't relate.

[Delmar Cooper]

Like I said the implication rather than the fact. Anyway, to me writing has nothing to do with truth. Try that third person thing if you ever get bored; switching point of view is good even if you go back to the original.

[Nada Khaled]

Thanks for the tip.

[Ilerah]

Nice story, really descriptive and well written. You put this together nicely. Good Job

[Nada Khaled]

Thank You So Much, You made my day.

[Ilerah]

your welcome glad to help