Monarch

We sit on the teetering edge

of the city,

intertwining blanched knuckles.

A dream scenario that drifts on ghost wings

like a skeletal butterfly on chemtrails

along the lines of your tattooed forearm.

There's heaven in you,

racing waves crash so pure and blue

against rocky coves

and dot-blotted flower valleys

where the wind's full of perfume.

You're a golden god, forever enchanting

with hair a flaxen forest of elven secrets,

wild eyed,

strutting across crayoned badlands

in the moonlight sonata,

claiming my memories and desires

like a monarch.

Author's Note

I found the word "dot blot" in my ophthalmology book. The term "dot and blot" is used to describe the retinal hemorrhage seen in diabetes. It refers to how the hemorrhages look like small round red dots. I liked the word and the imagery and decided to use it to describe a valley dotted with flowers. I think it suits, but I don't think it's an actual word in English.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I enjoyed this Moonie, I loved the line about the "crayoned badlands". It brought to mind a crayon drawing I did of a native American praying from the top of a plateau in the painted desert. I also like the dual references to rulership and the majestic butterfly. A very nice piece you have here. Brava, F.

[Moonie]

Thank you so much for the review! I honestly never made the monarch butterfly connection myself. It's so amusing that you caught that.

I tried to review your page but can't open your profile for some reason. Is that just a website glitch or something else?

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I have no idea but it may explain why I am hardly getting any reviews on my work. I've been told there is hacking going on here and several writers have told me they can't access the site or post new material because the captcha just spins. "Relic" has closed his profile page because of it and another writer, "Miss Sharon" contacted me today with the same problem. I don't know what's going on. I noticed recently that people were "blocked" from my page that I have never blocked and have been going around unblocking them as I come to find them. But I'm certain you're not blocked or I from your page or I couldn't review your work. Some hacker (or whatever they're called these days) has way too much free time on their hands I guess...sad. The bad thing is, people get mad at you and block you when you had nothing to do with it. You can contact Miss Sharon but Relics account is closed now. I went to review his work and it's just gone. I have deleted my work twice and reopened my page twice recently myself. I'm not worried about losing my work since it's all backed up in hard copy on other sites and on USB drives. I have thousands of pieces stored and saved I've written. Thanks for making me aware of the issue but I have no idea how to address it.

[willweb]

So many lines in this captured my thoughts and caused me to pause. This feels like a stream of consciousness piece where one sits near the heart, so the pen has a path to follow. Wonderfully written.

[Moonie]

Thank you so much for the kind review!

[W. Barrett Munn]

This is quite the piece. I love the diction choices. The metaphors unique. Bravo.

Winston

[Moonie]

Thank you so much!

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing and beautiful dance of words.
"strutting across crayoned badlands
in the moonlight sonata,
claiming my memories and desires
like a monarch."
I loved the above lines and a monarch butterfly, dancing in the wind. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Moonie]

Thank you so much, Coyote!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Moonie.

[Ken e Bujold]

this is a fabulous poem Moonie. Riveting!! From opening image of teetering on the edge of the city, the perfect path to the shift of perspective with "there's heaven in you" to the perhaps slightly melancholy finish of a monarch claimed what may or may not be his to rightly claim.

Bravo

Ken e

[Moonie]

I wrote the poem in a hurry, mostly just to keep my muse busy and to get some poetry out. But, when i came back to edit the poem, I couldn't really find anything i would change. It isn't a masterpiece ofc but i have grown fond of it haha. Thank you for sharing your comments!

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Moonie… my husband has diabetes for years… and your poetry is close to my 💜 Heart. He also takes Dialysis for four years and has breathing problems. Each day is a Treasure. tenderly, Pat

[Moonie]

Always a delight to read your sweet comments! My dad is a nephrologist and i have often visited his dialysis center even as a kid...perhaps that is what inspired me to take up internal medicine too. I hope to be a cardiologist after my residency. I just hope it leaves me time to come back to this site and enjoy all the lovely poetry and comments! :))
Lots of love! And thank you for sharing your own story with me.

[Patricia Wedel]

Lovely to visit you again, Moonie. I so admire what you and your Dad contribute to our State of well-being. Prayers are important as the World Sails troubled Waters. May God keep you in His Net of Gathered Breath. tenderly, Pat

[Chris Shaw]

Some beautiful lines here Moonie to describe a love. He seems to be a
wonder and certainly her heart thinks so. Hang on to that golden god. A most enjoyable read.

Chris

[Moonie]

Thank you so much for the lovely words!

[duff]

There are some great lines here.

"strutting across crayoned badlands"
"racing waves crash so pure and blue"

A most enjoyable read.

[Moonie]

thank you so much!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I think "dot blot" works perfectly for this piece.
I like the metaphor in this and the use of Monarch as a lover who is protecting the city (her heart)--
A classic poem written in a very modern casing.
j.

[Moonie]

Thank you so much! I mentioned coves and valleys to make it sound like he was conquering lands in her heart.