Flying Melody

It's like a happy song .

Take me down

where the sound is found

where the music is loud 

Take me deep

where I can't breath

Where the sirens sing

Take me away

Where the land is far away

And the stars are close a day 

Drive me mad

Until I become so insane 

To think that we can reign 

Set me free

Like a flying melody

Or a catching symphony 

I wish I could be

Like a flying melody

To bring the joy in the hearts

And spread the laughters high

So I can be heard 

And I can draw a smile 

And stop every single cry 

Maybe we 

Can be this melody

If our dreams

Are stronger than our fears 

And if we are 

Then we'll leave no single scar

We'll heal the broken souls

We'll fight with our swords 

Like dark kights 

We shall fight

And erase the darkest nights

So It can only be sunny days 

And flying birds

Singing '' The flying melody ''

Reviews

[William Liston]

It's impossible to deny how uplifting this poem is, especially in the sixth stanza where the expressions and imagery become stronger and help drive the point home. The message is both powerful and true — we do the greatest things when we're free and without fear. I like how the "if our dreams are stronger than our fears" line captures that theme. I also enjoyed the image and nuance conveyed by the "flying melody" metaphor.

I have one minor critique regarding these lines:

To bring *the joy in *the hearts
And spread *the laughters high

I think they would read a little smoother if you removed the word "the." Other than that, I thought the descriptions flowed clearly.

Happy writing.

- William Liston

[Black Jess]

thank you so much , i'm glad i could transmit the feeling of this poem to you , and thank you for your suggestion , i'll take it in considiration ^^ .

[A daytime shooting star]

you've finally published it
hhhh I forgot what was my comment
when I first read it :p

[Black Jess]

yeah xD , well I do : you said " melody " our secretary xD remember ?!

[A daytime shooting star]

hhhhhh yup yup how would I forget :')

[Joey Nizz]

I really enjoyed reading this one, well wrote :)

We'll fight with our sords (Swords)
Sorry for correcting, just wanted to know if thats what you meant.

Thanks again this was lovely ^^

[Black Jess]

ohh thank you for correcting me , I make mistakes sometimes , and never apologize again for correcting somthing wrong ! xD I'm glad you liked it

[Joey Nizz]

hehe its all good, we all make mistakes :p
Your welcome ^^

[victoria francis]

I really like this one. It is kind of difficult to understand but at the same time i feel like i understand it. I love it.

[Black Jess]

Thank you ! I'm glad you liked it . I wanted to transmit some kind of feeling for the readers while reading this , I wanted them to feel the joy and to have fun , so have fun in reading it